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My Bestfriend, Sandy

I am so excited to celebrate National Best Friend’s Day with all of you! I’m even more excited to take this occasion to celebrate my best friend, Sandy Peckinpah!

Sandy and I have been best friends for thirty (ish) years. Our friendship was instantaneous. I mean, the moment we met, we were crazy about each other.

In these thirty years, we have been through lifetimes. We have walked each other through births, deaths, marriages, divorces, triumphs and tragedies. We have lived near and far from one another.

We have vacationed together, had play group together, cooked together and laughed our faces off.
My friendship with Sandy is one of the closest and longest enduring relationships I have ever had. There is a depth to our connection and a shorthand to our communication that is so rare and precious to me. No matter how much time passes between visits, (and there have been giant chunks of time the last couple of years) we pick up exactly where we left off.

If I were to write a book about all of the things Sandy and I have done and been through together, it would have to be a multipart Encyclopedia. Seriously!

I marvel daily that I have been gifted with the powerful friendship of this extraordinary woman.

In these thirty years, we have been through lifetimes. We have walked each other through births, deaths, marriages, divorces, triumphs and tragedies. We have lived near each other and from from one another.

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is fiercely loyal, creative, funny, beautiful, graceful, strong, kind, compassionate, warm, loving, tolerant, inclusive, generous, spiritual, curious, and deeply talented.

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is the published author of several books. Most importantly her handbook on grief ‘How to Survive the Worst That Can Happen’ (which has been translated into several languages)

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is a wildly accomplished and brilliant chef 👩‍🍳

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She has red hair (I do love me some red hair) 👩‍🦰

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She can do calligraphy ( I joke that even her grocery lists are in calligraphy)

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She sews 🧵

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She gardens 🌷🌹🌼

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She an accomplished horsewoman 🐴

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s my mothering idol

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is RESILIENT!

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is a master of reinvention.

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is a champion for children and people with physical differences 💗

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is a screenwriter 📝

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She has fabulous taste in interior design

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a wonderful daughter

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a loving sister

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is a perfectionist (in the best way possible)

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s an actress

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a realtor 🏡

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a trailblazer

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a Nana

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a devoted wife

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a cat mama 😺

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She’s a baker on par with the greatest pastry chefs of the world

My Amazing Friend,
SANDY

She is just a spectacular human!

But of all the things Sandy is and does, I cannot let this National Best Friend day go by without telling you about Sandy’s grace and strength in the face of unspeakable tragedy.

Sandy’s first born son, Garrett, died when he was just sixteen. So full of potential and promise, Garret died from meningococcal meningitis on December 19, 1993.

Garret’s death was as cruel as it was sudden and to say it turned sandy’s whole world upside down would be a gross understatement. 

I had seen people grieve before. I had dealt with the death of several loved ones myself by that time, but I had never experienced or seen anything like the paralyzing grief that took over the entire Peckinpah family. Though I was concerned for all of them, Sandy was my primary focus that first year after Garret’s death.I was with her daily, feeding, comforting, helping Sandy dress for the memorial service, wrapping Christmas presents for Sandy’s three surviving children, Trevor, Julianne and Jackson, (unspeakably heartbreaking). 

I watched, first hand, as Sandy, determined to be there for her three traumatized children, began taking baby steps toward healing. Teeny, teeny steps at first but still Sandy was healing. 

I watched, first hand as this woman rose from the ashes of that unfathomable grief and managed to continue to be there for her children. My idolatry of her mothering grew exponentially. I was then and still am amazed by her strength.

Just when I thought my respect for Sandy couldn’t grow any more, I watched her navigate crippling grief once again as she had to let go of her marriage. A marriage that none of us ever thought would end. Yet, again, I watched, first hand, as Sandy came out the other side. Not just surviving it but thriving and growing into her full potential as a woman and mother.

Just a few years ago, I watched, again first hand, as Sandy fell in love with married her truest companion, Jim DeGirolamo. I marvel at the life they have created together. AND….a little over one year ago, Sandy became a Nana! Her daughter Julianne gave birth to a beautiful little boy named, Garrett. The circle continues my friends.

Sandy with her children - from right to left: Garett, Julianne and Trevor (Jackson is in Sandy’s tummy!)

As for Sandy- well she continues to grow and thrive with every challenge, every set back. We hold each other through those and celebrate the wondrous gifts and bounties of our lives. Sandy continues to do it all with such grace and an open heart. She is a true inspiration.
So on this National Best Friends Day, let’s all raise a glass to our BFFs and especially my BFF, Sandy.
I love you Mrs D!!!!!

I always, always will,

Mrs B

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